Letting Go of Conflict after a Difficult Divorce

The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict after a Difficult Divorce

One readers review:

I went through a high-conflict divorce in Connecticut in 2004, complete with restraining orders, police, and the whole 9 yards. As I saw the divorce approaching, I researched a great deal of divorce/parenting literature on my own, hoping to find a framework of something my (soon-to-be) ex and I could agree to work with, and I found this book. I read it and gave a copy to my ex. I also found an divorce/custody attorney who would focus on our children's interests, and his very first recommendation was to get this book and see Dr. Thayer in her practice jointly with my ex.

I'm grateful I had the expertise of Dr. Thayer to help me let go of conflicts I had with my ex. The guiding principle of the book and her joint practice (which is called The Peace Program) is to transform a personal, contentious relationship with an ex into a business-like relationship focused on the children's welfare. In a high-conflict divorce, this is a very difficult objective -- conflict can be blinding and all-consuming -- but it is possible, and the energy is of course better spent on the children.

The book outlines suggestions to facilitate parenting business, such as a weekly parenting phone call (a business call) and a dozen Golden Parenting Rules. In the end, after the parents extinguish their fighting, the children get their parents back, and a good deal of their childhood back, because the parents choose to work together as co-parents. Through the 18 months I've been using this book, I find myself living in various chapters of it, depending on the evolution of my divorce. As the children get older, new issues arise, and the book remains on the top shelf of my bookshelf, where my most useful books reside.