Monday, May 07, 2007

I Think There Should Be A Law

It's always been my belief that there should be a law that states if the non-custodial parent doesn't pay child support then they forfeit the privilege of seeing their children.

Seeing your children and being a part of their lives should be considered an honor and parents who lack the responsibility of helping provide the best possible life for those children should be a full crime punishable by not allowing them in their lives.

It was always easy with my ex - because I never had to worry about him taking me to court to fight me on my decision. Of course he never wanted to see the kids anyway -- it interrupted his party time.

There are some people, much like my husbands ex who seem to feel they are above the law. Like the rules ONLY apply to everyone but them.

In the long run it's only hurting the children -- and in a house where the child support DOES belong to the children, is placed in accounts where it's ONLY spent on the children, it makes it rather difficult for the non paying parent to explain.

Some people make me ill! Just giving birth and seeing the kids two days a friggin month are NOT enough.


Angela said...

Unfortunately child support and visitation are two different issues. Child support has nothing to do with visitation unless it’s drawn up that way in the decree. Thankfully my ex deadbeat is out of the picture so I don’t have to worry about visitation with him. The last time he saw Lauren was when she was about 5 years old.

Child support on the other hand is on behalf of the kids. But, don’t sell yourself short because it costs a lot of money to raise kids and making sure the utilities are paid and there is a roof over their head is part of that equation. So don’t feel bad if you have to use the child support to pay for groceries, etc.

I am totally against the custodial parent taking that money and using it to by their own personal wants and not needs that wind up taking care of the kids. That’s just wrong. And if they can’t stick to the arranged visitation as set out in the papers then continue to keep track of it and don’t waver when it comes time for them to ask for special treatment.

As for the kids... they are smart... they know what’s going on... they will figure out the rest on their own when they grow up.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's interesting...I might possibly agree with you...With that said, let's ALSO ensure that any mother or custodial parent, who stays at home and does not work outside of the home (has a salary outside the home) to financially support her children, loses them to the parent that actually does support the children financially. Now thats a novel idea...don't you think? It truly makes no sense for a custodial parent to say they support the child "emotionally", if they don't allow the non-custodial to do the same without supporting them "financially" yes, for the sake of equality and the best interest of the children, because they need not only "emtional" support, but "financial" support, thus the whole reason for the CSE idiots anyway, let's ensure that any mother who has a rough time and loses her job, also loses her children...any mother who just wants to get welfare and not work, also loses her children...any mother who wants to be a stay at home mom, also loses her children...I mean honestly, financial support is what kids need from their parents, therfore, if anyone cannot offer it, they should lose their kids and go to jail as well. Then, and only then, would the system be it looks for the "best financial interest of the children", which is what they do today.

Mrs. H said...


Both parents are obligated to financially support their children. If the mother walks and puts her children in the position of being from a divorced family (barring abuse), she forfeits the right to be a stay at home mom. Divorce rules are not the same as Marriage rules---and are typically much less fair to adults than they are to children---which is how it should be considering the adults are not providing a marital home for them.

Our child support goes into "the pot." Our "pot" pays for food, clothing, shelter and Oh My Gosh, Family Entertainment. To be honest, the CS my husband receives doesn't even come close to matching what we have had to take away from our family to support her legal manuvers. That aside, if that money ever does become extra, it will go into a college fund---not Nintendo games.

Gayla said...

With my ex only paying quarterly, it's easy to focus all the spending on my kids with glasses/contact/dentist/school activities, etc.

I suppose it would be very different if they were receiving the money weekly.

Once per quarter, they do get a little just to buy something they WANT, not necessarily what they need. It works well that way.

I agree too that when parents divorce, the mom then becomes a single parent and single parents WORK!

I can't say "outside the home" because I earn more then hubby working INSIDE the home. But I do have a job and I do earn a living.