How Did I Get Here?

People are too much work. I'm lonely. I miss having people drop by for dinner. I miss being able to vent about kids and not having everyone look all pained because of their sense of how horribly I stressed my kids. I do feel like the biggest "meanie" on the planet, and I can't figure out how I got here. I was coping. I was loving my kids. I fell in love. We're doing the best we can. Do you ever get absolution?

How many of you wake up one day wondering just how you got to this particular place in your life?

I've been there a few times myself. I used to travel a lot. I used to go to social events all over the U.S. I used to date famous people for crying out loud.

Now my day consists of work, laundry and an occasional phone call. But much like our commenter has pointed out, you wake up one day and feel like you've grown to a place of isolation and the people who once surrounded you, now run from you because you're the one with problems.

Advice, anyone?

Even if you don't have advice, perhaps you can join in to just share and lean.

Letters from Children of Divorce

Blended Kids - Letters from Children of Divorce. Though the title says "children of divorce" it can be letters from anyone who has had their life impacted by divorce. Whether it's your parents, yourself, whomever.

Over the last several years I've learned there is no way for all the courts to truly know what's really best for the children - because NO two families are alike. Try as they might, to make the best decisions, watching the evening news is a testament to the fact that they're not always right.

As a child of divorce myself, I feel as though I have somewhat a clearer understanding of what the needs of children of divorce are versus what someone who has never been divorced might believe.

Thus the idea for people from all over the world to share their own thoughts and letters on what's best for them. What hurts them most? What they wish their parents would do? What they should have done? How should parents handle divorce from a child's perspective.

At the same time, being a divorced woman myself, I would like to invite parents who are divorced to share their letters as well. God knows there are many secrets I've had to keep from my kids that I hope one day they'll forgive me for. This is also a place for people like me to share those secrets - so that perhaps other parents in similar situations will find support, encouragement and inspiration.

With statistics indicating that most families are now blended or divorced - I truly believe the best way to strengthen the latest trend in family dynamics is through the personal experiences and letters from those who have been there and are living it.

If you are divorced, know someone who is - or know a child of divorce, please share this site and option with them. When they get angry, hurt or depressed - I'd like for this to become one new avenue in which they can reach out to take therapeutic measures to get beyond that pain and at the very least connect with others like themselves.

Thanks so much for your help spreading this blog around - the kids are really very excited about this. I hope they can read the letters from other kids who are in similar situations and realize they're aren't quite as different as they'd thought.

This is entirely the kids project - I just do a bit of the web work stuff and will filter some of the letters for "content" purposes of course. They are in charge of all the posting and development.

Making Painful Decisions

One reader has written in with the following:

My husband and I have been married for nearly 5 years and in that time, we've had so many people telling us what to do, we don't even know what it's like to be a family.

We started off in financial struggles because of a layoff so soon after we were married. Because of our own struggles, family members have stepped in to help, but because of that help, we are not placed in the position of being reminded all the time of the help that was given.

It doesn't matter that much of what was given has been repaid - it's still a constant reminder that we owe them.

These same family members stress the blended family boundaries and cause tension within our household. I've tried to get my husband to do something about it - because my efforts have failed.

Shy of moving to outer Mongolia and without phones and internet, what can we do to create a home that's free of outside influences that place so much stress on this marriage that I'm not sure I even want to stay in it anymore? Depression is becoming the norm in my everyday life.

Help

I don't feel that I'm in a position to provide the best advice, so I'm placing this letter on the Blended Family Blog in hopes that others with blended family experience can chime in with some support and advice.